Entries Tagged 'lily' ↓

Time passes by really quickly. Before I knew it, it’s already the end of my first rotation here in the wards. Next week, I’m off to a rehab hospital at Ryde, spending the next 3 months there.

As I look back in the past 3 months, there were certainly ups and downs. And I’m glad to say that there were more ups than downs. You might know from my previous entries when I had a bit of a ’situation’ with my senior, a few episodes of breakdowns here and there, with a couple of mishaps happening in between. But they always ended on good notes..like there was never any hard feelings, neither of us was offended by each other at the end of the day…it’s not personal…it’s just work.

Last night, there was a man who pulled out his gun after an argument with his family members. This happened in the maternity ward in my hospital. They had to get the security in and eventually the police got involved as well. There was no shooting…just threats I suppose. And it came out in the national news as well. So people have been asking if I was still ok. Yes I am still alive. Nothing has changed except that there were police officers in and out of the hospital. In fact, it was pretty calm and normal when I went up to maternity today. I guess it was just a scare…..but it’s really scary now that I think about it because you’d be amazed at the number of people who walk into this hospital who carry guns..I just never realised it……Must be extra careful now..

I ask myself that every single day.

I’m holding onto ’something’ so blindly, with so much hope that if I fall, I may not have the courage to come out of it. My friends have been telling me to not put too much hope in it for the same reason. They, too have been questioning me…just why am I doing this to myself…and if I realise what I’m putting myself through. To be honest, I know…yet I don’t know.

I am like a mathematician trying to solve a maths equation. I know I can do it…it is within my capabilities…I know that if I try hard enough, long enough, if I put all my effort and time into it, I would be able to solve it. I can see myself with the answer.. it seems so near, yet it’s hard to reach.

Remember how I was feeling down because my family left Sydney and I felt like there was nothing else to look forward to? Well, guess what…barely two weeks after they left, my good friend, Elaine announced that she was going to visit me (at a really short notice!!) And she came at a really good time actually because we had the long Easter holidays, so I actually had days off to bring her around.

I never used to put pressure on myself or let anyone put pressure on me. I never had any pressure in studies. My parents left me to do my own thing, never expecting anything inachievable..except for the occasional ‘you see aunty who’s daughter got all A1s in her exam’. Even then, I used to just brush it aside, saying to myself that I will work at my own pace, I will do it for myself, not anyone else.

:: I’m playing host..yet again..to another friend who’s visiting Sydney next
week.. it was a last minute decision, having 2 weeks off work, so she just
decided to visit her dear friend here. This is the 3rd time this year alone I’m
hosting friends/family. It’s kinds tiring and stressful but at the same time, I
enjoy showing them around…looks like I’m going to the Three Sisters again!

I mentioned in my previous blog that I absolutely love my job. Maybe not everyday. You’d surely get that daily work stress, whether it’s a huge or a trivial one.

Today, I didn’t like my job. My senior was in a horrible mood today and he took it out on all of us. Me, especially. And the fact that I didn’t do my plaster fantastically made him snapped at me the most and the worst. I sort of teared a lil not because he yelled at me for not doing things right, but because I felt like I was his burden. It’s as if his migraine wasn’t killing him enough, I was there to add to his misery. I actually feel bad for him. Everyone else comforted me by saying that I’m not experienced enough to do everything perfectly and that he was just in a bad mood. But because I was taught this before and I’ve seen him do it, I AM suppose to know how to do it and I can understand his frustration when I didn’t. But he did apologise for having a go at me and he helped me with my caseload before he went home early.

I haven’t been updating my blog for a while coz lots have happened over the week. First the visa debarcle, which has now settled. And then my family (parents, sis and bro) arrived on Tuesday night in Sydney from Gold Coast for my graduation cum holiday. I was really excited for them to be here coz I love showing them what I have been doing here for the past 4 years! We went out for dinner at Chinatown coz mum was craving for ‘rice’…being the typical Chinese mother..so I recommended Superbowl coz they serve the yummiestt preserved egg and minced beef congee. After dinner, we took a stroll along Darling Harbour and Circular Quay….just in time for supper at Pancakes On The Rocks!

Things seem to settle now. I am now lawful and I think I won’t get deported…but there’s bits and pieces which Im still confused about. I don’t know how is this going to implicate on my PR application…I don’t know when the next trouble is going to find me…When you think the worst has come and gone, you’d be surprised because something ‘new’ and more ‘exciting’ always come along.

It feels like my lucky stars have been kidnapped and are kept hostage in a secret cave. It all started with the house break-in. From then on, everything that could go wrong, WENT wrong…damm Murphy’s Law. Nothing went smoothly. Work became more stressful when I expected it to be LESS stressful. There’s problems with certain people. There’s problems with my visa. What else should I be expecting?

I feel like shit. For the past 2 weeks, I was dealing with so many things. One after another shit is happening in my life. I’m so tired of not getting sleep because I’m worried about these unsolved problems.

I got a call in the middle of the last night from Brisbane Immigration Officer. He told me horrible news even though it’s mendable. This is the 2nd time in 3 day that my hands were shaking and my heart was beating at 200bpm. How can I be informed of such huge matter from Brisbane and NOT from Sydney? I feel like a zombie now because I haven’t slept a wink all night, thinking about what to do because I need to go to the Immigration Dept on Monday which means I probably have to take half day off work..don’t know how Im going to do that because Im already taking 3 days off this week. And on such late notice, it’s hard to find anyone to cover for me and we’re getting real busy these days. Plus my family is arriving on Tuesday..I only told my sister about the news.

You….

You never fail to make my day whenever you smile at me

You always make me nervous whenever I talk to you

Thank you for asking and listening to my problems and helping me solve them

I admire you for your wonderful qualities, your versatile personality and your creative mind

I like how we can look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking

I like how we have our private lil jokes that no one knows about

It’s funnny because I’d think of you many times a day, wondering about what you’re doing or whether you’d be thinking of me

But I know that you’re not.

Extremely bad day…
From the minute I got out of bed till the end of the day when I went back into bed, everything went badly. It was so bad that I actually broke down at work.

Aunt Flo made her monthly visit early in the morning, she brought with her the usual cramps. And then I started the day at work by coaxing the nurse to give me some panadols. As the morning rolled by, I was paged 10 times by the same 3 nutheads, all of them want me to see their patients NOW. I am no Doraemon, I cannot make myself be in 3 places at the same time. I have my own timetable I need to keep to, so stop telling me when I have to do what because I will decide that for myself.

I am actually really surprised that I’ve been invited to join this contest. If you’d seen me on the street (or the pic above this post), you probably wouldn’t use the term ‘hot’ to describe me. Having said that, I agreed to join just for the fun of it..I might even win myself something if Im really lucky!

Anyway, I’m 22, born and bred in KL, Malaysia. I came to Sydney for my university studies and 4 years later, I am a graduate physiotherapist. And now I’m working in a Sydney hospital as a physio. So I guess that makes me a city girl through and through.